God has been perplexing me in my motherhood journey and am always grateful for His Grace.
When I found out I was expecting I was stunned to put it mildly. I had cut off ties with the short term, very short, fling I had. Then this shock, boy didn’t I think of everything and nothing at the same time. I was with a friend I was helping her with her daughter and I had seen her go through the worst experience while pregnant and I wasn’t going to follow that path. So I sat on the floor and cried then went home and bought another kit just in case the cheap one we had bought was faulty so this time I bought a very expensive one which I still keep as a remainder, needless to say the results were the same.
Well after that I didn’t take long to be reminded how pregnant I was by the terrible morning sickness. The nausea was the worst, I want more babies but this is the part I dread the most. So well we all have our pregnancy stories, horror some seamless. Mine after 4 months was pretty good but at the 8th month I couldn’t wait to finish that race, I was tired, huge and I couldn’t sleep.
Every girls dream was my village of sisters. We now had every excuse to try out all types of foods, all in the name of cravings, actually I got no cravings but since nobody wanted to cook a few restaurants knew us. Great music helped Beyonce’s XO was on repeat every shower. That song healed me and wiped my tears every single day. God takes you through a journey, the emotional mumbo jumbo is hilarious though. One minute you are laughing and the next someone says you look different and you want kill them. Like define different you human, you mean fat eh. Shopping wasn’t fun either, demanding your usual size 10 or 12 since now you are a little heavier and you get the look. The stylist gives you size 16 with the look. So yes shopping is tough biggest reason being reality hits you with a depression and accepting that you really have changed and the hotness is slipping is not good for pregnancy. I also became black, girls steal your beauty. Long story short I made sure we have very few evidence especially final leg, anyone who will produce those now is liable to be shot. Now am hotter than before, God gives restitution after that journey.
God teaches you to walk on your knees. I knew to pray on my knees He taught me to be thoroughly broken and helpless when I met my LO. She was a knock out, she still is. I still stare at her as she sleeps as in no one can pull off such magnificence but Him.
Labour was the easy, the usual, 23 hours of contractions, real threats were issued, going crazy, showering to go home since those people had failed at a simple thing of delivering a child and they couldn’t see I was going mad. They came with the inducement drugs which every woman dreads so I threatened some more. They broke my water and damn that is hair ripping painful. Oh well. Deep inside my LO realized I couldn’t handle it anymore so she also got tired. Since they couldn’t listen I was fed up they listened to her, with her lack of heartbeat they were forced to do an emergency CS. She saved me once more and at 3.43am we met. Funny thing God wipes all that struggle, pain and gives you an amnesia as soon as you meet your baby.
My village of strong women was still outside at that hour. They never left, they took care of her when I couldn’t. When I was helpless and unwell they took care of both of us. I got visitors everyday for 3 months straight. I was exhausted but blessed. Some cooked, some cleaned, some washed, some came for mental talk and laughter but mostly they loved us. I never for a single day wished I had a partner in fact I was glad I didn’t because my strong women wouldn’t have come to help me because of tradition. Am forever grateful. My mother calls it Gods favour.
P.S It’s rare to meet an unloving mother because she knows God’s love first hand. Her heart is transformed, her spirit and soul are full of unconditional love.